Iron Lady

The Iron Lady

I just watched the movie Iron Lady this evening ( January 20^th) and for anyone who doesn't know what the movie is about, it’s about Margaret Thatcher the first and only female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom who smashed through the barriers of gender and class to be heard in a male-dominated world. I remember hearing the name a lot when I was a young girl living in Nigeria and the only thing I knew about her was she was very strict and not liked by a lot of people and that was the perception I had of her.

Watching that movie was intellectually stimulating and eye opening.  Here was a woman born to a family of grocers who ended up becoming Prime minister. She believed in hard work and not being idle as she saw idleness as a sin; which helped her become Prime Minister. She ran for parliament in 1950 and lost but because one of her philosophy is “you may have to fight a battle more than once to win it”, she ran again 9 years later, won and used that as a stepping stone to becoming Prime Minister.

Seeing what she had to go through to achieve what she wanted has me even more amped to accomplish my goal as a World Renowned Motivational Speaker. While she was a bit rigid, I liked that she always embodied the importance of standing up and saying what she believed in no matter what anybody thought.  She says “If you set out to be liked, you should be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing”

One great lesson I learned from watching that movie is to be logical and not emotional especially when making decisions. There was a scene where she was asked how she was feeling and her answer was, people don’t think anymore, they feel. They’re always talking about how they feel.  She went on to say “One of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than they do about thoughts and ideas, ask me what I’m thinking and I will let you know”.  Although I have read and heard this several times, it really hit home for me today.  “Watch your thoughts, for they become words, watch your words for they become actions, watch your actions for they become habits, watch your habits, for they become your character, watch your character for it becomes your destiny”  What we THINK, we BECOME.

I can already hear someone saying why would I want to be logical rather than emotional when most of our decisions are made based on our emotions? That’s exactly my point. We make decisions based off of how we feel and sometimes because we’re so emotional, they end up being the wrong decision. Let me elaborate.  Have you ever been in a disagreement with someone and because of the way you felt at that moment, you said something you shouldn't have and wish you could take back? This is why we need to take control over our emotions instead of letting our emotions rule us. Now I’m not saying we should feel no emotion, I’m talking about having control over how we react to our emotions once we feel them. Like they say “To master ones’ emotions is to master ones’ self”

The first step to learn how to master your emotions is to understand that all emotions serve you then identify what emotion you are experiencing at that particular moment. This is important because if you’re not sure what kind of emotion you are experiencing then you will struggle to respond accordingly. To help you through this step, ask yourself the following questions:

What am I feeling right now?                                               

Am I really feeling this, or is there something more?

The greater clarity you have here, the more you will have to work with as you move through this process.

You will notice that the more control you have on your emotions, the better decisions you’ll make. If Margaret Thatcher, who had all the odds against her could become the first woman Prime Minister, I can and will become a World Renowned Motivational Speaker. I just have to discipline myself to do what I know is right and important while taking control of my emotions so I can make logical decisions.

New Year, New You

Its 2013, the New Year resolutions are set. The gyms are full, the fad diets have started and everyone says this year will be different. But I’ve heard it all before and that’s because I used to be one of those people that made those ridiculous New Year resolutions that lasted nothing but a week or two. This year though, I’m doing things differently; rather than make those New Year Resolutions, I’ve set goals and strategies that WILL make 2013 the best one yet.

The New Year to some is just another day which honestly it is; but if you’re anything like me, I see it as a clean slate, the beginning of a New Chapter and 365 days to get it right. Every year I say "This year is going to be better, it’s going to be my break- through year” but I don't do anything out of the ordinary to make it better - I do the same things and expect different results. But 2013…. I'm changing it up; I’m stepping outside my comfort zone, conquering those dreams and facing those fears I have and even if I fail, guess what?  I know I tried.

A lot of people including myself have a fear of failure and what I’ve come to realize is fear can be both Healthy and Unhealthy. Healthy fear for example gets you out of the path of impending danger while Unhealthy fear is F.E.A.R - false evidence that appears real which is mostly a fabrication of your mind to keep you imprisoned. Overcome this unhealthy fear, and you will wake up to a different perspective on life. Failure on the other hand is nothing  but a process of finding out what doesn’t work and what course of actions to not take the next time around. It took Thomas Edison more than 999 tries to invent a light bulb so why do people like you and I think it will take us our first attempt to accomplish our dreams or whatever else we set out to DO? The truth of the matter is, we need to start thinking like scientists. They go into the lab to test whatever theories they have and HOPE it works yet leave room for failure.  If the experiment doesn’t work they keep tweaking it till they find what works but they NEVER give up. We can succeed at ANYTHING we set out to accomplish so far we keep DOING and not give up regardless of what challenges we face.

It’s time to do something different from your norm, put away those New Year Resolutions, step outside of your comfort zone and Make that BIG DREAM of yours your goal. Write them down and place them where they are visible (Keep in mind, for a goal to be effective it should be SMART, i.e. it has to be Specific – What do you want to achieve? It has to be Measurable -, Can you measure your progress? It has to be Attainable – is this goal realistic? - Are you trying to lose 50 pounds in 2 weeks, you and I know that’s unrealistic  so make sure you’re not setting yourself up by setting unrealistic goals. Rewarding - You want to buy that dream home of yours- which is why you work so hard but why? Why do you want to buy that particular home? How will you feel while living in it? The feeling you get on achieving the goal is the reward that will keep you motivated in face of challenges and obstacles and prevent you from quitting. Finally, it must be Time bound - There has to be a completion date and it must not be too short or long, as it will make the goal unattainable. Time is one of the prices that you are paying for the goal, and you must give it time that the goal is worth. Setting deadlines will also insure you against procrastination and perfectionism. If any of these ingredients are missing, it will not be possible for the goals to fulfill their purpose.

 I’ve heard a lot of people ask why it’s necessary to write down goals and unfortunately it’s because we humans are forgetful creatures. Something we think is important today becomes less important tomorrow as new “important” things pop up but this is your DREAM; you have to protect it. They are a lot of ways to do that for example you can place frames or notes of your dreams and goals everywhere in your home (That’s what I've done) it can be on your kitchen wall, your mirror, your car visor etc. You get the gist, get creative and place your dreams and goals everywhere because, a dream not worked on is nothing but that a DREAM.

As you set out to conquer these goals and dreams, remember it won't be an easy task- it’s going to be challenging and during those challenging times you might have thoughts of quitting but as long as you don't, you WILL succeed. Keep finding new and fun ways to achieve those goals- the idea is to always be doing something till it pays off. Like Carrie Underwood said “There will be God-Given opportunities no matter what field you're in. You just have to recognize them and take them" and that's the truth, those opportunities will come, you just have to be PREPARED, recognize them and grab them when they show up because they will.

Have a wonderful 2013 and make it your best one yet.